Last Thursday night I woke up with my eye matted shut. I thought I had pink eye. I went to the eye doctor Friday morning and got the “talking to.” You know, the talking to that your dental hygienist gives you because you don’t floss everyday of your life except the day before your dental appointment. Well, I got the “talking to” from young Mr. Eye Doctor that my contacts I was wearing were not to be worn for a year, but for two months only. Oops. I did it again. I put my health on the back burner and didn’t take the time to make myself an eye appointment when I made one for my son. As moms, we all fall into this pattern at times–family health first, mom health second. My penance for not taking care of myself was to not wear contacts for a week, only my glasses, while I used antibiotic eye drops to clear up my eye infection. Mr. Man-Boy Doctor is tough, but he knows best so I complied…grumpily. I just got back from my re-check and I passed. I am now wearing daily contacts because Dr. Doogie Howser doesn’t trust me with weekly or monthly contacts. He’s smart that kid.
1. Glasses are cute, but not in the rain.
2. People don’t recognize me when I wear my glasses, not even my kids. I went to pick up my oldest from school early. He walked right pass me. I thought the secretary was going to call a code red, but he finally confirmed my identity.
3. Everyone kept telling me I looked smarter with glasses. Thanks, I think? Guess I’m just not smart enough to figure out if that is a compliment or not. Here let me put my glasses on and I’m sure I can figure it out.
4. I don’t have those fancy glasses that turn to sunglasses, so at this weekend’s soccer tournament, I was the nerd wearing glasses with sunglasses over them. I put on a ball cap hoping to disguise my nerdiness, but I don’t think it worked.
5. I fall asleep in my glasses all the time and then have semi-permanent glasses marks on my face for half the day. People ask me if they are scars, I tell them, “Yes. I am scarred from wearing glasses since the third grade.”
6. I started to hate glasses in elementary school. I would use them to make funny faces during class and get in trouble and have to miss recess. Not my fault. My glasses made me do it.
7. “Why won’t my windshield get clean?” It is clean. Your glasses are dirty.
8. Eye glasses are more trendy than shoes. I can’t keep up. When I finally got my Holly Hobby glasses, everyone else was getting Strawberry Shortcake glasses.
9. I’ve found when I hate glasses the most is when I’m exercising. Like the other day. I went into Zumba class looking like a secretary. I left Zumba class looking like a secretary that did more work on top of her boss’s desk than behind it, if you know what I mean. Picture this…me sweaty from class and my glasses slipping off my nose at an odd angle which makes my hair stick up on one side and makes me look cross-eyed. Since that happened in Zumba class, the next day I opted to take my glasses off and use my other senses in Kickboxing. I hope my best friend’s black eye heals quickly.
10. Why I love to hate glasses is that I have no control over them. They get to decide when I can see the alarm clock. They get to decide when I can drive or watch TV. They are so controlling. But never fear, contact lenses are back in town and will make my life a lot easier. Who knows, maybe I’ll visit the land of lasik eye surgery and kiss my plastic frames good-bye…until I’ll need reading glasses, that is.
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